My mainstream media idea

You can't go broke underestimating the taste of the American public

With ratings for existing mainstream media outlets falling like rocks, and citizens desperate for news, I might create my own mainstream media organization dedicated to real time news. To ensure a wide and engaged audience I have set certain rules:

• All advertisers must profile interracial couples or couples with at least one gay or trans person in the advertisement

• The American flag will be replaced by the rainbow flag on every flagpole shown on the screen

• Top anchors will be lesbian or gay or trans, and will be paid millions

• News will be created rather than reported allowing it to be timely even if inaccurate

• If Donald Trump is mentioned, it must be in a negative way

• If Kamala Harris or Joe Biden or Nancy Pelosi are mentioned it must be in a positive way

• Immigrants will be called “newcomers” and shown only in ways that welcome them into American society

• Token white men will be shown in the background in servile ways, like helping a black woman put her groceries into the back of her EV SUV or married to a colored person

• Any white heterosexuals will be displayed as racists or extremists or mysoginists

• Any coverage of indigenous people will show them proudly wearing their traditional costumes or as doctors, lawyers, statesmen and CEO’s of major corporations

• The World Economic Forum logo will be subtly placed in the background of every news story

• Murders and rapists will be shown in new suits with clean shirts and their hair cut and our announcers will explain how they are the real victims.

• All weather reports will blame every rainfall, tornado, hurricane, snowstorm, flood or freezing weather on CO2 emissions and urge viewers to curb their carbon emissions, buy solar panels, drive an EV and add insulation to their attics.

Initial cold calls on advertisers like Google, Netflix, Amazon, Apple, Microsoft, and Disney found a positive reception and it seemed like I was making progress.

I ran it by some entertainment executives running major hedge funds to see I could secure funding, which didn’t seem much of a problem but when I told them I was going to call my program CNN they said, naw, that idea is old and hackneyed, no one will watch it, and the name has already been taken.

I checked that out and they were right - CNN does exist with precisely the same format and no one watches it any more. I will keep working on the idea anyway, since all we have in Canada is CBC and it is more or less the same as CNN but keeps promoting Justin Trudeau and in Canada no one cares about Trudeau any more, so there may be an opening. I have no doubt it will be popular with Liberals and may even qualify for a government grant.